News
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feral energy 
My Spirit Animal Is a Racoon That Screams at 3 AM
Accurate, unhinged, and slightly feral—just like you. Design: rabid raccoon in a trash throne wearing a tiny crown, screaming into the void while ...
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antisocial 
I’m Not Ignoring You, I’m Just on Do Not Disturb Mode
Your phone isn’t the only thing that can silence notifications. Some of us were born on DND. This shirt is for people who treat “How are you?” as ...
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batman parody 
I’m Not Saying I’m Batman… But Have You Ever Seen Me and Batman in the Same Room?
The ultimate alibi. Also the ultimate flex. Design: dramatic bat-signal in a stormy sky, but instead of Batman it’s just a regular guy standing on...
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arguing shirt 
I’d Agree With You But Then We’d Both Be Wrong
Why compromise when you can be dramatically correct? Design: infinite mirror effect—two people arguing, both wearing the exact same shirt, reflect...
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author threat 
Be Nice to Me or I’ll Put You in My Next Novel and Kill You Off
Writers don’t have anger issues. We have character development. Design: sinister author at an old typewriter, tiny screaming characters trying to ...
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eye roll 
I’m Not Always Sarcastic… Sometimes I’m Asleep
Finally, a shirt that manages expectations 24/7. Because even in your dreams you’re probably rolling your eyes. Design: loading bar that says “Sar...
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antisocial 
My Alone Time Is For Everyone’s Safety
Some people meditate for inner peace. You meditate so the FBI doesn’t put you on a list. This shirt is your official “do not disturb” force field. ...
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computer nerd 
I’m Here Because You Broke Something – The Official IT Support Battle Armor
Tech support isn’t a job—it’s a hostage situation with extra steps. This shirt is worn by the unsung heroes who show up after you’ve clicked “yes” ...
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antisocial 
Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come
Honesty is a superpower. Why lie about traffic when the truth is so much more liberating? Design: person literally dragging themselves out of a co...
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adulting 
I Run on Caffeine, Chaos, and Cuss Words
Decaf? Never heard of her. This is the holy trinity of surviving adulthood. Design: an IV stand pumping triple-shot espresso straight into a feral...
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dark humor 
Satan Called, He Wants His Weather Back
When the heat index hits “surface of the sun” and your phone warns you that outdoor activity could be deadly, this is the only appropriate uniform....
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arguing shirt 
I’m Not Arguing, I’m Just Explaining Why I’m Right
Debate is just victory with extra steps. This shirt is for the undefeated champions of being correct on the internet, at Thanksgiving, and in every...
