Decaf? Never heard of her. This is the holy trinity of surviving adulthood.
Design: an IV stand pumping triple-shot espresso straight into a feral raccoon wearing safety goggles and holding a flamethrower. Because that’s exactly what your bloodstream looks like by noon.
Parents, night-shift workers, and anyone who has ever said “hold my coffee” before doing something deeply illegal—this one’s for you.
One reviewer said her toddler learned his first curse word from reading her shirt out loud. Five stars, no regrets.
